“Grotty Little Tournament X: Main Draw Round One

"One more body amongst foundations makes little difference. Well, what are you waiting for? Do it..." -Rorschach

On paper this seemed like just the kind of smash-mouth game of Blood Bowl the Watchmen prefer. With two niggled players on Orchi Ma Elfi, the scene was set for the heroes to have their best. Little did they know that the rotters were feeling especially buff and rowdy that day.

Right out of the game on the opening kickoff - BANG! Dollar Bill knocked out. BANG! Hooded Justice suffers a casualty. This was not looking good. To cap off a turn that already had the hallmarks of disaster, Max Spleenripper put a chainsaw foul to Nite Owl, killing him in the process. The apothecary was brought in early to save him, turning certain death into a one game absence.

By the fourth turn, six of the Watchmen had limped off the field, suffering heavily under the chainsaw fouls and claw/mighty blow combo packed by the rotters. There was little joy to be found for the typically lethal trio of Mothman, Hollis Mason, and Sally Jupiter.

By turn eight there was little resistance left to be found. Coach Favalessa had constructed a masterful bashing clinic and Troy Polamalu managed to easily cross the goal line in the waning minutes to score the game's first touchdown.

Watchmen Philosophy 0, Orchi Ma Elfi 1.

As bad as the first half had been, there was a glimmer of hope. Even though Sally Jupiter had been knocked from the game, Mothman and Hollis Mason still looked as though they might be able to whittle down the numbers and make a match out of it.

That is until Mothman found double skulls on turn eight and knocked himself out in the process. The situation had gone from bad to drastically worse.

So the Watchmen trudged onto the field for the second half, doing their level best to rally for a game-tying score. They did manage to start the second half by removing two of the rotters from the line of scrimmage, bringing the players on the pitch a little closer to even. But that parity was short-lived.

Turn three saw the wizard of Orchi Ma Elfi rain down fire from the heavens, popping the ball free from Ozymandias. But Dollar Bill was johnny-on-the-spot, snatching the bouncing ball out of the air to secure it for the Watchmen.

Again, the brief respite from disaster was broken by Jared Allen blocking Dollar Bill with a shocking blow. The ball popped out and immediately bounced into the waiting hands of Diomerda. Despite the fact that the rotter lay in the swarming tentacles of Rorschach, he dodged free with ease and sprinted for paydirt.

The only hope for the chaos team lay in getting Rorschach to man-mark Diomerda and pray for a failed dodge the following turn. With that in mind, the lumbering chaos warrior dodged free from Jared Allen...

... and promptly planted face first into the turf. With that failed dodge the game was sealed. Diomerda eventually handed off the Bishop Desmond as the clock wound down and the Watchmen were unceremoniously booted from the Grotty Little Tournament as the illustrious Bishop struck paydirt once more.

Final score: Watchmen Philosophy 0, Orchi Ma Elfi 2.
”