“FUMBBL Cup XIII - Round One

“Things are tough all over, cupcake, an' it rains on the just an' the unjust alike...except in California.”
-Alan Moore, Watchmen


From the outset this didn't appear to be a fair fight, but we all know that Nuffle sometimes has other ideas. With a minotaur and chainsaw-wielding orc recruited from the pool of mercenaries, Apollo looked to level the playing field a little.

The opening whistle saw the pact team receiving and their initial blocks did little more than stun the Watchmen on the line of scrimmage. Mothman returned that favor by promptly knocking out Girolamo Klintz, considerably weakening the muscle of the pact line. Turn two was more of the same as the mercenary minotaur was sent to the casualty box for the remainder of the game. Turn three and Jimmy Sarchiapone was badly hurt, but patched up neatly by the apothecary and allowed to continue. All of Nuffle's love seemed to be in Watchmen Philosophy's favor.

EGB retreated deep with the ball and remained out of range of the Watchmen blitzers. Carmine Mella did break free from Dr. Manhattan and line up deep as a receiver, but a series of unfortunate breaks left EGB face down on the turf with the ball in clear danger.

Rorschach and Big Figure covered the ball near EGB. Franco Superanimal suffered a casualty at the hands of Sally Jupiter and Nite Owl took care of Nico Trallante. The casualty total was at four after five turns and the apothecary had left for the concession stand. Things were about to go from bad to worse.

Turn six came and EGB was dead and gone.

By turn eight Rorschach had scooped up the ball and begun a mad dash for La Legge Sono Io's endzone. The hired wizard on the sideline sent him crashing to the turf with a lightning bolt and the ball popped free. Filippo Caramella scooped it up, threw it into the stands and the Watchmen fans promptly tossed it back in range of Hollis Mason. Dr. Manhattan put the hurt on Carmine Mella before Hollis Mason picked up the ball and handed it off to Big Figure for an easy touchdown.

Watchmen Philosophy 1, La Legge Sono Io 0

The second half began much like the first half ended. Girolamo Klintz, the gargantuan troll, was injured on a block by Nite Owl. The troll's regenerative powers failed him in this instance and he would spend the rest of the match nursing his wounds.

The Comedian served as ball carrier as the Watchmen retreated into a tight cage, no longer fearful that a wizard might take out the entire bunch of them. Jimmy Sarchiapone returned to action in his blitzing role, but the focus of La Legge Sono Io seemed to lie in protecting their chainsaw-wielding orc. Watchmen Philosophy chose to forgo the stalling tactic and push upfield, content in the knowledge that the chainsaw would disappear when a touchdown materialized.

Ricamino stuck his neck out as Mothman charged forward, laying the tiny goblin out with a vicious block. The tally now stood at eight casualties and the match was far from over.

Turn four saw Nite Owl race across the touch line as the referee blew his whistle and sent Ugroth Bolgrot off the pitch for his illegal weapon.

Watchmen Philosophy 2, La Legge Sono Io 0

Only seven players remained for the chaos pact, while Watchmen Philosophy still had a full complement of eleven. Perfect defense meant that La Legge Sono Io were unable to get any blocks in off the line of scrimmage, and Nite Owl followed that poor luck with yet another casualty - Givmi Lamano would not return to the pitch. A blitz from Sally Jupiter sent Jimmy Sarchiapone limping to the bench and the casualty tally was now up to ten.

After a failed pass by Onofrio Carbonella, Sally Jupiter hit Egi Golia for yet another casualty. Only four players remained for La Legge Sono Io and Watchmen Philosophy's coach had but one thought: keep the Watchmen safe for the next round matchup.

Captain Metropolis picked up the ball and made for the endzone, with Big Figure pushing to the center. A failed handoff in turn seven, followed by a successful pickup by Big Figure in turn eight meant the game was all over but for the turn eight formalities.

Watchmen Philosophy 3, La Legge Sono Io 0







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