“BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

The Mulez luckered their way out of the flaming paper bag of poop for this match. The first offensive drive of theirs was offensive, as they couldn't contain Butterfinger and had to settle for not giving up the defensive touchdown. Key moment: when we saw recovery was hopeless, we shoved Twix into the crowd... who subsequently ate the living crap out of both his left and right side (unconfirmed accounts say they tasted the same).

So a successful defense on offense spurred the Mulez to have a successful offense on defense. Turn 2 of the 2nd half being key as we knocked 3 pieces of candy off the pitch (after the crowd removed another with a rock to start the half). Pisspiss Jr. went apeshit and knocked the M&M's out of Skittles... then proceeded to foul stomp Butterfinger into a crumbly post-Halloween wrapper-contained mess of a sploosh.

Dice won this dice game, panda. Valiant effort... foiled by fate. Good luck with the team.”