“The first half of the game , the Nurgles did everything right, with one exception. On the first turn of the game, LeSean "Shady" McCoy was killed from fear of the Orcs on the other side of the field. Brent "Braindead" Celek took off on a streak pattern on the south side-line, and drew a great deal of attention from the Orc squad. Eventually, Filthadelphia' screen along the north sideline ended in a Jeremiah "Hot to Trot" Trotter TD.

The ensuing kickoff was successfully defended, but at a high cost.

Filthadelphia then had to kick off to start the second half, and with only 7 players returning to the pitch, surviving the Orcs seemed a daunting task. But a perfect kick to the coffin corner bought the Nurgles a little bit of time.

In what can only be called a miracle, the loan remaining Nurgles player, Jeremiah "Hot to Trot" Trotter, successfully kept the Orcs from the endzone. When asked about it in the post game, Nurgle's Head Coach Chip "On My Shoulder" Kelly said, "It was ugly, real ugly, but a win is a win. We lost Reggie and "Shady", and Randall, Chuck, and Brent will be down for a while, but, we'll keep pressing on, and we're still 1-0 at the end of the day. Go Nurgles."”