“Diane, it's 5:55 PM, and we've been violated by nuffle again. It wasn't even close. Everything we tried to do failed, everything the rats tried to do succeeded when it mattered. It's a wonder they didn't score 5 TDs against us. This one may be the worst violation yet. Tell Gordon that Twin Peaks is still cursed, and nuffle still sucks sweaty donkey balls. Man, it must feel great to play against us when the dice are like this.

Dale in room 316, Great Northern Hotel, signing off.

Medical Report: In a fit of pique, I ordered Albert and his team to patch Bobby's niggling injury up. The best he could do was give him a game off with no lingering effects. With this game, that was a pretty good result. James Hurley will be keeping Bobby company next game. I've got the money to hire Kevin Palestream on fulltime, but I'm not sure I'm going to. Been thinking about bringing the Log Lady onboard. If she'll let us talk to her log. ”