“Diane, it's 11:23 PM on Saturday, January 24th, and I'm happy to report that we stamped out a very bad rodent infestation. It was a close thing, and poor Ben Horne was overrun and eaten by plague-infested vermin. But today will be a day that will go down in law-enforcement history; a day when justice prevailed in spite of long odds; a day when the forces of evil were surely taught the lesson that crime doesn't pay. Although it does cost, and oh what a cost it was. Even the crowd was against us as Trey Hideouseagle was Badly Hurt by a rock. With our numbers dwindling, I nearly erred not calling on Albert's team, especially when I was blind-sided on a lucky hit. But Deputy Hawk was a true hero out there today, Diane. He single-handedly won that game with his three TDs and his late game blitz that recovered what was a sure tying TD. I'm going to speak to Sheriff Truman about giving him a raise.

This is Dale in room 316, Great Northern Hotel, signing off.

Medical Report: I withheld Albert's team from saving Ben Horne because I thought we would need him. I'll have to live with that one.

Financial Report: No inducements, and a great winnings roll. I think I'm going to hire one of those journeyelves.”