“Diane, it's 1:01 PM on Sunday, Feb 15, and nuffle has struck again. It's been a while since I've seen such a ridiculous display of one-sided luck. I'd have to go way back to the beginning of our investigations here in Twin Peaks. Clearly the evil that lives in these old woods is still alive and preying on the innocent and undeserving. Remind me to send some flowers to Gordon.

Medical Report: Gordon was hurt early in the game and we both agreed it didn't make sense to send Albert and his team when there were more dangers lurking. Turns out we never needed Albert again. Maybe Gordon owed Albert money....

Financial Report: The Roadhouse Babe started off very poorly, then the heatwave picked up where she left off. We were outnumbered most of the match in spite of the babe and starting with 12. At least the winnings were good, we'll probably have to replace Gordon.

Epilogue: This was the Twin Leaps 20th game and my 50th game coaching Wood Elves in Ranked. Now I know why nuffle took a big crap on it. Clearly Saturn has entered Jupiter and the gate to the Black Lodge is wide open.”