“... is this thing on? I think it's this button. Oh, it's rolling. Um, hello Diane. This is Sheriff Harry Truman. Agent Cooper asked me to file his report for him this week, so um, here goes. So, it's 7:09 PM on Tuesday, Feb 17, and we just got mauled in the Twin Peaks cemetary. Again. As I've told Coop before, I'd think we be afraid to go past that place anymore. But he said there could have been a clue out there, and I trust his instinct. There was a clue alright, the return of an evil presence that lives in these woods. I've heard Coop refer to it as 'nuffle', though I'm not sure what that means. He'd probably also say something about the mathematical improbabilities of how the last few turns of the game played out. All I know is that Deputy Brennan hurt himself on a failed Dodge (with reroll), Deputy Hawk stunned himself on a failed GFI (with reroll), I got knocked down on a single die block, and some ghoul completed a 6+ pass on his 2nd attempt. Yeah, that was about as rotten as fish-flavored coffee. Did he ever tell you that story, Diane. Ask him about it, it wasn't pretty. And neither was this game.

Ok, Agent Cooper should be back next time, so I'll just sign off. Sheriff Harry S. Truman, Twin Peaks Sheriff's Department. I need a drink.

Medical Report: Cooper always mentions something about Albert here. I tried to get him to come out and help Andy but he said we should wait for something more important. Then I tried to get him to come help Mike Nelson, and he just gave me this look and shook his head. I didn't bother to ask about the local that got killed. I also decided to hire a Sid to be our Babe, but instead of refreshing brew she brought us Yukon Sucker Punches. Not a single KO ever came back in 4 attempts.

Financial Report: I pulled the 50k out of my own department funds, but the payout was good enough that I'm going to ask Coop if he'll reimburse us. Or should I be asking you? I hope the paperwork on that isn't too rough. At least we didn't lose any FF with the locals.”