“A tragic day. Our young hero, Mithing Deef, has died. Rudely blitzed by a team of rotten, stinking, awful, cowardly, foul, unworthy, unwanted, disgusting, putrid, underhanded, cruel, miserly, and loveless underworld goblins and skaven.

The funeral had more pie than ever, wonderfully painful to stuff it all down, completely glorious. So, Imminent Bloodsmears: thanks for acquiring your selection of casualties at Casualties R Us! Tell your friends, all kinds available, reasonable rates, returns are assured!


As to the game, they received, tried to box us in with little luck, as Lucky Break sailed over their heads and grabbed up the ball. Of course, he was immediately blitzed to pieces, but you should have seen the look on their faces! Good lad, brave! We never really got near the ball after that, trapped like rats, everyone over the top off to the knock-out bin.

Our receive, couldn't pick it up! Coach busy screaming at the trees. Their legend Splatter, tricky, got through and grabbed it, but Frozen Shoulder pulled him down, as always! Reliable! Of course, they grabbed it up again and scored.

The ref gave us just a few seconds recompense, SCORE! Mithing Deef, legend in the making, just got to get him the ball and he's near unstoppable.

Our receive second half, couldn't pick it up again. Trees garnering all the attentions of the coach once more. If only they were more reliable. They grabbed it, but Broken Bits smashed himself into the carrier and knocked them clean out! Weakstone was weak. Splatter grabbed it again, and this time kept tight to his allies, Frozen Shoulder out of place for the touchdown attempt, and what did they do but surround Mithing Deef! Cads! Foul rats. I saw a chance though, and called for assists, but before they could gather their Bastard Bill ... you know the story. Apothecary could do nothing. So much pie.

Trying to celebrate their crimes, Bill couldn't hold the pass into the endzone, but Smashed Elbow couldn't make the pass to clear it either and they were calmer with the score in the end, the Bastard getting it after all.

Again, we failed the pickup, just one from four to hand, so they got the last, too few of us to stand in their way. Clive and Leif really out of the game, so little blocking achieved, and the loss of our best. Leif steps up again, promising to hold them tight for more Bash, our new best, he's a very angry tree.

In honour of our great loss, a few retirements are being forced on the lads.

https://fumbbl.com/p/player?op=view&player_id=10695054 #11, Broken Bits, 4 games.
https://fumbbl.com/p/player?op=view&player_id=10687860 #13, Foot Smashed, 7 games.
https://fumbbl.com/p/player?op=view&player_id=10687858 #2, Creaky Back, 8 games.
https://fumbbl.com/p/player?op=view&player_id=8076092 #12, Stunned Mullet, 13 games.
https://fumbbl.com/p/player?op=view&player_id=8076077 #7, Lucky Break, 14 games.
https://fumbbl.com/p/player?op=view&player_id=8076086 #9, Mithing Deef, 15 games.

Frozen Shoulder will be allowed to stay, his unique talent for freeing the ball wins him a spot. The rest are given pies, and more pies, to sooth their aching bodies.

How will we serve the next round of customers? With fresh recruits! To the training, newbies, there's pies in it for you!”