“We were passing west as planned, when we tried entering some woods. The local Elves offered a game of bloodbowl in place of war, little suspecting that was our game too! We into them, for our eternal freedom.

The game was rough enough, a tree joining their team (enslaved, if you ask me) was particularly terrifying for the crew, but it was their Neckless Nick we should have been on the lookout for! We received, but they blitzed us through an open centre, too busy avoiding the big Timber. We recovered the ball, luckily, but Pollux got lost in his frenzy and was smashed by Wandering Willy, leaving a gap for their Timber to give the same injury to Pollux a moment later.

Our two most experienced players, gone in an instant.

Auctus recovered the ball from their hands again, twice no less, but Barca could not quite manage the same and they eventually ran it in, us looking rather the worse for wear near the half. With little time, Oenomaus seagulled ahead, they ignored him trying for the ball, easily covered by Gannicus, and Theokoles was able to send out a long pass for the run in, and a tied game at the half.

They ran in a quick one, too little cover for our brave few in the thick of it, they had their eye on Gannicus this time. Our receive again, we worked hard up the side to get Auctus in range, and he ... tripped on the line. The rest of us were left trapped, watching the woodland folk deftly carry the ball the length of the field. Our fans were devastated.

Even less time on the clock now, our last chance to make amends, swift Auctus again took the handoff and flew down field. Neckless Nick covered, and recovered the ball for them, but what's this! Crixus dodges clear, blitzes, frees the ball one-to-one from their blodger, knocking him out, and Auctus looking all the world like one of their graceful elves, ignores the presence of Legless Leo to dodge in, pick up, dodge away, and push to score on the whistle!

What could have been. Hard-worn Saegovax and Nasir retire along with the brutally injured Agron and Pollux. They can settle here, near the woods, the rest of us are forced back east, onward we march for our freedom, new hobs stepping forward instantly to take the field.”