“Well, we invited some rats into the store, hoping they'd be more inclined to take home a good set of casualties, and were they what!

Leif and Clive took the line on their recieve, I was wary of the Claw on that troll but being a Halfling coach decided to try my luck. Nuffle was not amused, both big lads off the park before they could blink, Leif for the day.

With half our team off the field like that, the rest of the half was a mess. Had they not clowned about with the ball for the sake of amusing the crowd (and somehow inducing their blitzer Conny to grow a wicked claw like the other hitters in their team, mutations are strange like that) they'd have scored four!

We had a shot at a quick one before the break, and another after it, but fumbling the ball and a wide kick settled both, the second half seeing just two lads running it bravely down the sideline. They had more than ample cover, good team spirit, and soon the crowd hurled the ball back toward the (now feeding) Clive to liven things up a bit. As brave as the lads were, the only thing holding them back was the ineptitude of their Conny and his ball handling.

The ref allowed a cost-free concession, though our fans weren't happy with it. Totally Ninja take away an excellent haul of casualties, deeply satisfied customers, and that's what we're here for at Casualties R Us, fans or otherwise. Tell your friends, best prices in town, excellent quality, top service.”