“We welcomed a tribe of women from the Amazon to our store today, and though they were wearing delightfully few clothes considering all the snow, they seemed keen enough to pick up some casualties. Lads were a bit slack on sales though, slack-jawed more like.

They received, which makes life harder for those of us keen on the final turn, not to mention the snow making speed tricky, though that cost them more than us today. Troubled Elbow strait off, their big lass Giuseppina keen on knocking around some trees for fun all day too. Miffing Deef tried out his new strip routine against their ... sure handed Accalappiapalle, it was quickly rebuffed. Clive ensures me no one else was available for the throw. Hmm.

The big timber down and staying there, lads going off everywhere, it was left to Post Trauma, a few others chipping in, to sprint (in the snow!) after their stalling thrower, eventually driving Accalappiapalle across the line, five other warrior women unable to stop him. Such spirit!

We got an extended half-time show, luckily considering the tough kick on the sideline, they blitzed at Post Trauma but slipped in the snow. Ha! Couldn't land it, but the lad was in everything.

Clive taken down on our ball, Miffing Deef was the only one clear for the throw from Leif. Long too, but couldn't land and was stunned, I was too busy screaming at him to catch the thing. They sent a couple back, but Leif half cleared a track and the lads through on it, Aching Back over the top, Post Trauma and Cracked Ribs sprinting on, all close. But they got back in numbers, and Crepo gathered the ball, Miffing Deef falling over again trying to clear a blitz on her.

They got it to Giuseppina, lightning from the storm (or a Wizard!) struck Clive nearby, and that was that, we were miles behind, and all our missiles closer to the timber than the targets! Well played ladies, not many casualties picked up I'm afraid, but it was that sort of game, chasing about the place and picking on the big timber. Clean sheet pie again for us, excellent sales tactic, greater profits that way. Looking forward to more of it.

What's that Leif? Yes, you do often work returns, ... well if they give you them, take them, alright? It is your department.”