“Allegations of Hush Money in the casualties department have arisen, Snitches were involved, but they've been silenced.

Anarchy was unleashed, nobbling their ringer. Bribery cleared the way for their stunning attack on Nepotism, but Nepotism rose again, Bribery and Corruption clearing an easy path, and there was no truck with Thieving, which failed to steal their renewed strikes against Nepotism. Fraud was the winner on the day.

Corruption ruined their offence, though they cleaned it up, Fraud still in the headlines. Their great Lump ended up with the ball, but we signalled him to play dumb and he did, the ref assisting us with a quick penalty for nothing. Fraud was finally cleaned up, but Kickbacks encouraged Lump to "trip" before scoring.

Extortion was considered as they cleaned up Kickbacks and Conspiracy alike. Still, they couldn't "pick up the ball", a friendly scatter and we were on it, almost, Dirty Pool just wasn't in the game. Extortion was used to free the ball once more, Thieving stealing the pick up from the usual. Nepotism was destroyed, but we paid handsomely for just the occasion and was soon restored, Hush Money rejected and publicised!

Suddenly Goible had it, but Graft arranged a "trip" and was away with the ball, Dirty Pool refused this time. They suffered for Ransom, but again Graft denied any Dirty Pool on the ball, eventually doing it all solo. A riot, we encouraged the ref to take away their time, Bribery holding good.

For all our players "supposedly" injured, only one seems badly off. There's just so much Bribery in the game, and ... wait, what? Our winnings are adjusted? Well, nothing to see here, rumours and nonsense, anything can happen at a game of sportsball, praise Nuffle!”