“Second game in a row against woodies, so its time to see if my players leant anything from the last match, like how to put their shoes on the correct feet.

Match highlights:
WftWG line up to kick leaving their wide zones open, U-dogs set up for a LineRunner play in response which, surprisingly, actually goes to plan and they score in the second turn 1-0 U-dogs.

On restart WftWG collect the ball and seem to start running in the wrong direction as their lightning fast catcher ‘Twigvald’ falls back towards his own endzone. The U-dogs take the bait and their skaven dash through into WftWG’s back field leaving gaping holes in the team’s defensive line ideal for the woodies to exploit. Twigvald easily runs past the U-dog skaven, leaving them as flat footed as a drunken dwarf, and gives the ball to veteran Wardancer ‘Be’loakor’ who is practically unmarked on the halfway line. With a hop, skip, jump and derisive flick of his pony tail Be’loakor shimmies through the rest of the U-dogs’ defence to score – its 1 all.

As the U-dogs gather together for their customary pre-kickoff whinge and blame pointing session the coach notices that goblin Dave-eyets is no longer on the field or in the dug out. After a brief search an eagle eyed flunky notices a pair of bootlaces dangling from between Gerald’s teeth – which is all that is left of the unlucky greenskin, Gerald having swallowed him whole mid drive.

U-dogs receive and form a ‘Pocket and Skirmish Line’ defence around the ball carrier, Ber’anx. Be’loakor tries to break into the skaven cage but attempts one acrobatic flip too many and lands in an untidy heap to howls of derision from the U-dog players. Ber’anx hands off to thrower Fr’bloo who spots See-em the two headed gobbo is unmarked behind WftWG lines. Fr’bloo swings wide, launching an accurate pass to the open See-em, completion, all See-em has to do is sprint into the endzone for the U-dogs to regain the lead, one square gfi with a reroll… he sprints he stumbles… trips… falls… fractures his arm and loses the ball, another golden TD opportunity fails at the last moment for the U-dogs. The fans are loving it, they haven’t seen comedy like this in since the last time the U-dogs played a game! The halftime whistle goes and the scores remain tied.

The second half opens with another stunning display of elven speed and agility with the ball being passed from player to player faster than the U-dogs can track until Twigvald sprints over the line to score 2-1 to the tree huggers.

On restart the U-dogs once more form up into their two layered defensive lines around the ball carrier, this time, however, they opt to try and out run the elves instead of risking a passing play but they quickly run into trouble and the ball is knocked loose for ‘Crom the Gardner II’ to gather and pass down field to the waiting Twigvald – 3-1 to WftWG.


Things go from bad to worse for the U-dogs as woeful coaching decisions and atrocious ball handling by their gobbos leave a fumbled ball at the feet of the WftWG scrimmage line. It looks as though the WftWG’s have been plying the U-dog’s coach with free samples from their Bloodweiser as he makes a second basic mistake in two turns letting the elves in for TD 4 without mounting even the most basic of defences, who are actually using the match as an opportunity to get some extra passing practise.

Final score 4-1 but lessons have been learned – like having two heads can be confusing, carrying raw steak near Gerald is just asking for players to be eaten and bloodweiser hangovers are worse than being hit in the face by Treeman.

Thanks for the entertainment!
”