“OBBA MLS Season 23
Round 1

Ook ook! We had a good revenge match against Columbus Death Crew all set up, then some chucklehead banana-sucker decided he wanted back into the league. He whined about discrimination against monkeys and got the scheduled reshuffled. So we drew these humans that destroyed us last season. We managed to squeak out a draw, but that's all we could do. We were playing from behind the entire game and had to depend on some snakes and poor KO rolls by them to even manage that. Lewis and Jairo were killed outright, and Attakora was saved from a Broken Collar Bone by the apothecary. But he suffered a back injury instead and will miss a game and suffer a twinge the rest of his life. Might have to cut him and get a new Gorilla, will have to see what our next opponent looks like. Gladiators played hard and woulda/shoulda/coulda won according to Charlie. Johan replied 'close only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades, chump!'

Anyone picking D. Cong United to make the playoffs this season just got a rude awakening. Ook ook!

Thanks for the game, MrNomad. Glad I don't have to play you again for a while ;) Good luck against Fake Salt Ape.”