“Buuface apparently botched his ritual sacrifice to Nuffle the night before the match.

In the first half the Norse bravely advanced with the ball, despite all their stray players vanishing beneath the Colours' double saws. Just as he was about to score Grumnir snagged a bomb out of the air, not realizing that it had been liberally doused in viscous snotling bile. The explosion ended the half 0-0, but not evenly matched, as it turns out the goblins had bribed not just the ref, but the stadium vendors, security, and janitorial staff.

The ref waved the chainsaws back onto the field, while in the Stag locker room the janitors mercilessly bludgeoned all four of the knocked-out norseman, ensuring they remained concussed for the second half.

The norse took the field with four, which was shortly cut down to two by the merciless saws as the Colours' rookie pogo stick waltzed the ball across goal line.

The final kickoff saw the Norse catching their first lucky break: the saws had become gummed up with bone and yeti hair, refusing to start. The disappointed fans began to riot, as they had been promised a bloodbath til the very end. The remaining norse lino grabbed the ball and ran for his life, managing to run out the clock, denying the Colour a final chance at carnage and glory.



”