“SLITHERPOOL START STRONG TO DEFEAT CLANSMEN

Slitherpool opened their Lumburgh Cup campaign with a 1-0 victory over The Ironbeard Clansmen. Slitherpool scored halfway through the first half by pushing around the Dwarfs and creating an alley for LUCKY to run 21 yards for the score. TRIPLE ROUNDHOUSE was the game MVP for the holes he opened up in the defense on that drive and ended the game with 9 blocks but no casualties. In the second half the Clansmen were able to get the ball behind the Slitherpool defense but HAMSTRUNG HANK pulled his hammy or possibly on his own phallus, and fumbled the ball into the crowd mere inches from the goal line. The score surely would have gotten the Ironbeard boys a share of the points on the day. All in all a decent performance for Slitherpool, but were lucky to get the full three points in the contest.

Other notable players for Slitherpool:
ACE SMASHFACE with a casualty (Smashed Ankle - RAMROD) on 8 blocks
BIG DUMB JERK with a casualty (Badly Hurt - DRUNKENHEIMER) on 8 blocks

Other notes:
After the game Slitherpool hired Apotho - SLY-ME McHEALER in response to the brutality of the Lumburgh Cup.

Quote Ace Smashface "I can taste the Extreme Fajitas at Fliggers already"

Quote Big Dumb Jerk "F%#@ YOU!!!"

Quote Lucky "If I live through this tournament, it will be a miracle"

Quote Benchy "Please leave me on the bench next week"”