“"... an mek sur yous teks dem orf da pitch."

Paul banged the side of his head, trying to recall the rest of coach Grotly's pre-game team talk.

"Erwin, what did the coach say out strategy was for this game?" he asked.

"We had to take the opposing players off the pitch, coach appeared to think that would help us win."

"Is that all he said," Paul looked doubtful. "I'm sure there was something else, just before that."

"Nah, that was it mate," Erwin patted Paul on the shoulder. "Don't overthink it, we've got this."

"Great stuff, thanks." A look of happiness spread over Paul's face. He had a method to follow and he knew how to execute it to the best of his ability.

...

"Boyz, wot waz yous doin oot dere? Yous didz a grand job tekin da froggys orf da pitch butt den yous dint peek upz da ball an winz da game. Wot append?"

"Told you there was something else," Paul said to Erwin.

Bonehead failure count: 12/68 = 1/5.7
Ongoing failure count: 272/1739 = 1/6.4”