“The rookie team øberüber FC once again felt unsure entering the pitch, ready for a match against those pesky elves. Those twitchy slithery pansies hadn't seemed to want to break, even when punching the bastards over and over again. The weeks prior to this match the coach put the players through a rigorous murdering routine, hiring some snotlings and slowly working all the way up to some unsuspecting halflings. The training paid off. five casualties in one match, with two deaths if it hadn't been for the elves' apothecary swiftly administering CPR.

Special shout out to Boomer Eziasson, who joined the ranks for this special occasion. The first bomb he managed to hurl towards the elves was caught by an elven catcher, despite standing right next to Kraaaaaack Chraaagh Hu'urgh. The elf seemed perplexed and wanted to get rid of the explosion as fast as possible, tossing it on the Ulfwerner Lars 'Furry' Untenboven, who was getting ready to punch an elf lineman in the face. He was surprised to find a smoking bomb in his outstretched hand. He had always secretly wanted to be a BB passer, but his father would never let him ("that would be a shame to the family honor"). This was his moment to shine. Expertly aiming the bomb at a nice cluster of elves, there it went, and went, and went. Right into the hands of an elf on the other side of the pitch. The elf, who was a lot more experienced with things other than punching, threw it back right in front of Lars. Boom. Lars will stick to punching from this point on.

Boomer will not be invited again.”