“"Wotcha ladz," coach Grotly approached the LOC as they arrived at the Bimp FC ground. "Owz iz yous doin? Still buzin afta last matkch?"

"Yes coach, we celebrated the result last game by going on for a light salad and a few barrels of mead. Each."

"Wel mek sure yous iz on topp ov yous's game today. Az yous seen wot dese boyz kan do befor?"

The LOC turned to look at the pitch where Bimp FC were warming up for the game. Bimp was spinning out of tackles, and seemed to be in several places at once. Wade had a mean look on his face and was encouraging members of the crowd to try and move him by running at him. Paul the snotling was practicing kicking up to his feet from a prone position. And Kal was hitting a training dummy. Hard. Really hard.

Niels gulped. "Are these lads up to speed with our latest tactics," he asked Snot Grotly.

"Diz iz wer yous az de advantege. Deyz bin so fokkusd on dere own play dat dey az not bin wotching wot da ovva teamz kan do. I believes in yous boyz. Doo me pwoud."

Bonehead failure count: 9/55 = 1/6.1
Ongoing failure count: 305/1948 = 1/6.4”