“Ballin' and maulin'. That's what this match was about.

Two teams, vying for first place, meet mid-season. But the champs wouldn't let having to field 4 journeymen off the streets stop them from staking claim to the division lead.

The upstart Fernets start with the ball and try the conservative approach of dorf-caging, while trying to remove elves from the pitch. But Mackville ties them up early and Big Bitch proves to be more than a handful by stiffing blocks, bobbing and weaving through said cage. He doesn't loose the ball, but he shoves Veneto into a spot where Pro Bowler Captain, Bo, can pop the ball loose. It stays in the scrum but for a minute when a scrub shoves Capri's dirty backside onto the ball... popping it over to Bo. Cordoba smacked Bo upside the head, but the ball fell right to crowd favorite... that's right... MOOT-DAWG.

Moot calls an audible and sends Big Bitch out long... 1 pass is all it takes to wow the crowd. Big Bitch is out of reach and scores easily.

With the lines already starting to get perilously thin, Mackville goes super-aggressive for the ball. We use the wiz to pop the ball loose and run rampant at it... getting the handoff to the legendary V$. He gets popped, but leaves the ball out of reach for anyone but Dr. Wolf, who scoops up to score and make it 2-0, Pro Bowlers. Moot-Dawg takes a smack in the backfield, but we send him for a long overdue mini-vacation to the U.P. (Enjoy, Moot-Dawg... you earned it).

Now receiving, but only having four elves... what do we do?! Well, what else can we do?... score again!! Pop - lock - stall - dump - dodge - scoot - spin - parry - HA! - thrust... 3-0 Good guys.

Most at this stage would leave well enough alone... but the rampant smashing of the fans that chose to play with us for free spurred Barber to a wicked trance that sent him after Veneto seeing red. RIP, Veneto. There will be a commissioning for your likeness, mixed with Elvis and Jesus, to be painted on black velvet. It will sell 2-for-$19.95 + S&H. Get one for the bathroom and one for the garage.

Oh... and Nuffle gave pucho a shit-sandwich on the last couple turns, so we stole the ball and scored again. Whammo. Totally worth having to field 6 of our fans for next game ;) Fun times, pucho.”