“Much to the coaches regret, Ampleshade decided she wanted to be a Quarterback today: taking root and looking for open receivers. Unfortunately, Pops Lolly was too slow getting downfield to make a viable wide receiver. After 5 scores, the coach manages to convince Ampleshade that she's a much better running back. She sprints down the field after fielding a touch back, but comes up just inches short as the whistle sounds to signal a merciful end to the match.
Only 625 more paces to get to the top of the list
Thanks PaddyMick for a fun one.”