“Fumbbl Scheduled Smack - Brawl XXV: Final

Coming into this match there were many different aspects to consider: weather, kick off rolls, and how to spend 390k worth of inducements. As we started rationalizing the purchase of another rat, and then spending the remaining 340K on a wizard and a star player, I began to recall Fezglitch's performance in our last match and quickly decided that the funds could be better spent elsewhere. So, before the big game, we purchased an additional line rat, followed by the recruitment of three additional line rats, and added some coaching and cheering staff, spending the majority of the gold we had accumulated, but leaving enough of a TV difference to induce a wizard. On spending the gold: this was a final, no better place to spend it.

Game time:

A perfect, sunny day as both teams took to the pitch, the orcs looking meaty and mean, rats looking cunning. Rats won the coin toss and we elected to kick (always kick) and set up to take advantage of a favorable kick off event. That favorable kick off event never occurred, and instead the orcs began laying hits on every rat they could. Not a problem, as this was our Plan B. Getting slapped around by the other team was part of your plan? When you coach Skaven, this has to be be part of your plan.

By the end of the fourth turn things are looking pretty bleak:

Playing 5-on-11, the orcs had us either pinned down or on the run. The orc thrower was holding the ball and within scoring range, and it was at this point Tony decided to turn around and head back to the skaven half of the pitch. The orc thrower advanced into a stall pattern as the orcs set up to finish the job of smashing the rats to pieces. Saff, the orc blitzer, came rushing up and leveled a hit on Troy, but only succeeded in pushing him back, inadvertently pushing him within range of the orc holding the ball. With a quick dodge, the chant began..

"One for the gold, two for the cheese, three for the clan, and four..."

This I can't believe!!!

Troy rushed forward and blindsided the orc thrower, wrestling him to the ground(-2d: POW, Both Down), and setting the ball loose. The ball bounced up and was caught be Steve McLendon, while under coverage by one of the orc blitzers. A heroic play by both team members.

Close of the first half:

The orcs were still looking highly likely to score, and sent all available bodies to assist in doing just that. Steve was pushed by the blitzer who was covering him into a vicious hit by the orc thrower, setting Steve down and the ball into the hands of that very same assisting blitzer. Steve responded by getting to his feet and wrestling the blitzer to the ground, allowing Troy to dodge out, retrieve the ball, and punt the ball out of orcish reach. The orcs laid a few more hits, but then fumbled the pass attempt for a possible touchdown. For good measure we rats knocked the orc thrower into the dirt, just so that he would know who was boss. After that the whistle blew signaling the end of the first half, and a successful defense by the skaven, and we went into the locker rooms, game tied at zero.

The skaven offensive:

Even with three of our line rats failing to wake up for the start of the second half there were still enough players on our bench to field a complete squad of eleven. Four of the eleven were sneaky gutter runners who had each been instructed to exploit any weakness and to get the ball into the endzone. We retrieved the kick off and decided to play it safe. The orcs answered back by removing two of our players from the pitch. We were now in a situation where playing it safe was no longer an option, as we could not withstand another turn such as the previous turn. We launched an attack, flooding into the orc side of the pitch with all four gutter runners and the ball in hand. But we had stepped too far, and right into a frenzied blitz, as Antonio was knocked down and lost the ball. The ball came to rest at the feet of the orcs, but somehow ace thrower Ben was able to step in and collect the ball, dodge out, and hand off the ball to Dri.

Oh no! Dri fumbled the catch!

Was this the end of skaven hopes and dreams?

We were now completely surrounded, and the orcs had just picked up the loose ball. This was the end. Until Troy, the co-hero of the fist half, dodged in and blitzed the ball carrier, pushing the orc back against the sidelines, and stripping the ball out of his hands. The ball bounced out of bounds and was thrown in by the fans, coming to rest a distance away, but also close enough for Martavis to get a hand upon. Martavis dodged away, claimed the ball, and ran into the endzone, taking the lead, 1-nil.

Now all we have to do is stop them:

Playing 11-on-11 with four turns for the orcs to even the score. They began their drive by removing Martavis from the match. Think of it as a "Thank you" for his touchdown. In an effort to gain ground quickly the orc thrower attempted a pass which went wide, and the rats saw their chance to dodge in and get the ball and make this match theirs. Too bad a block gone wrong brought that chance to a close. The orcs wisely eliminated a few more risks, including Antonio, requiring the apoth's assistance, before reclaiming the ball, as this match was appearing to be headed to overtime. With a roaring crash a fireball smashed down onto the pitch, knocking down both the troll and the blocker surrounding the orc thrower clutching onto the ball. It was now or never, as Steve dodged in and blitzed the thrower, knocking him back, and giving the rats time to regroup. As the final minute of the match began the orcs sent in a blitzer to help clear the way for the ball carrier, but the blitzer tripped, leaving the ball carrier exposed. Heath dodge in, giving an assist, as Steve, co-hero of the first half, dragged the orc thrower down, and the ball popped loose into Ben's awaiting hands. With the few seconds remaining Ben raced away and out of the reach of the orcish players. They had truly done it. They had outlasted a brutal band of orcs, and in doing so, brought home a Smack Championship to Pittzbur'gh.
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Stepping outside of the report, there are so many coaches to thank for this victory. Fist off, all respect due to fluffy_bunny, as he played this match very well, and had the injury die been different, this entire match would have been his. Second, coach King_Ghidra and his dangerous Slaanesh (Nurgle) who we ran up against in the previous round. If you want to see a crazy match, go an watch that game. Here's a hit: Steve was a hero in that match as well. Third, coach Throweck, who proved to be a true gentleman and sportsmen, as he was willing to forfeit our match due to scheduling difficulties. It take a true man to hand a victory off to someone else and to wish them the best of luck. You have my utmost respect, sir. Lastly, shadow46x2, for continuing to run these events. You can say whatever you want about Ranked, but I have had the fortune of playing against some amazing coaches during this and other Smacks, and have learned a lot, even when losing the match.

Next up for the Stealers? Maybe I will shelve them for a little while. Maybe we'll get back out there and complete their grid. Maybe I will take a break from Fumbbl. You'll have to wait and see.



Good game.”