“Greetings Bloodbowlers!

The Mighty Norse faced up against the Stalwart Orcs.
What a nail-biting match it was!

The Unicorns won the FAME, but lost the toss and the Norse elected to receive the kick.

By the end of Turn 1, the scary Clark had been sent off the field by the glamorous Princess Leia with a love-tap to the chest = Smashed Ribs and MNG. This is the second time that the Unicorns have sent the Heavyweight Snow Troll off the pitch early to lick his wounds and Clark still remembers C3PO every time he limps onto the pitch (-MA).

The field was evened when a nasty foul saw the Chancellor laid low (Smashed Ankle, -MA) by the pesky Nink and a few of his friends. This continues a trend of Black Orcs losing movement, the coach will start adding calcium supplements into their all meat diet. This serious injury was early in the game, but the Chancellor has a promising Bloodbowl career ahead of him and was worth the doctor's time. After a worrying pause, the coach decided to risk the doctor and luckily the field medic patched him back up with a cure-all and the Chancellor waited impatiently in the reserves box, hoping to get back onto the pitch and support his team.

The ball play swayed back and forth as the Norse sought a hole in the Orc's defense. A failed attempt by the Orc team to take down the mighty Lorax gave the Frenzy Trees an opening and a Norse touchdown seemed like a sure thing when Lorax handed the ball off to New Fish... That is, until the he slipped on an Orc Turd and went arse over head on the touchdown line. Luke Skywalker valiantly raced to secure the ball, but wasn't fast enough to snaffle the ball and dodge clear. The orcs rushed over the dependable Darth Maul Guard/Tackler and Luke had to grind his teeth frustratingly close to the ball and stand menacingly near the ball and dare the Norse to do their worst! Which they promptly did, whipping out a wizard from the sidelines who zapped the unfortunate Jedi with a lightning blast with more oompf than even the Emperor could manage with all the aid of the dark side! The wizard's zap did the trick and sent Luke into the KO bin seeings stars and flashing lights.

The remaining orc blitzer was bashed clear, but the ball scattered like a pinball between the two corner sidelines before scattering near a Norse Lineman. The Orcs were unable to secure the ball, but some Orcish pressure saw the Norse coach signal to his side to score earlier than he would have liked and New Fish was able to salve his pride by still being the man to carry the touch-down.

With only a few short turns to scramble a comeback touchdown the Orcs readied their play. A series of KOs by the Orcs after receiving the kick thinned the field, but unfortunately, the Norse side still had a few tricks up their sleeve. Luke at the end of Turn 7 was within 4 short squares of the touchdown line and he was depending upon Jaja to help tie up the dodgy Lorax. Sadly, he failed the final dodge and hit the ground hard (stunned), leaving Lorax an opening to exploit... The Norse didn't overlook the opportunity, Lorax brought a friend and made a courageous blitz against the Jedi Star... [Push] then Frency [PUSH/POW] = (Luke really needs Dodge!). And the ball was bounced loose. Luckily, the ball scattered into the crowd and they must've been Orc fans, because they hurled the ball deep into the middle of the field and into the trembling paws of Black Orc Blocker "Ewok" who wasn't quite sure what to do with the ball... With a dash of flair, Han solo broke free and waited in the touchdown line at the end of the half, hoping for his team to throw him the ball... Ewok had enough sense to palm the ball off to C3PO who raced towards the waiting Han Solo. Getting within medium range, the droid (normally a steady player, with circuits as cool as a cucumber) frazzled under the pressure and fumbled the pass, reroll the pass and fumble again. Dang the Unicorns fizzled at the moment of truth.

So ended the first half, 1-0 to the valiant Frenzy Trees.

The heat was on in the second half, and the blood of both teams was high. So high in fact that the numerous KOs from both sides came back onto the pitch to see the game to the bitter end.

Boomer managed to make things interesting with some well placed bombs scattering the impenetrable Orc cage and spilling the ball loose. From there, the Mighty Lorax snaffled the ball and the Norse team tried to protect him as best they could. The Unicorns rallied and managed to create a solid fence of green around the Norse side and knock the pesky Boomer on his arse seeing stars from the grass. A charging blitz by the dependable Obi-wan Kenobi (ST4 Jump-Up Wrackler), saw Lorax go down and spill the ball to an empty square. Luke Skywalker saw his opportunity, swept in to regain control of the ball and score the coach made the decision to score with two turns left in the game, in the faint hope of a blitz, riot, or failed pickup to try for victory in the dying embers of the game.

The two sides lined up one last time, there were two turns (for the Norse) and one turn (for the Unicorns) remaining to make the winning touchdown. The Unicorns set up their field and left the top of the pitch weak, with the lower side of the pitch dominated by Princess Leia, Jaja Biggs, Luke and Han poised to exploit any weakness from their opposing side once Qui-Gon Jinn made the deep kick [Hoping for the Blitz result]... Sadly for the Unicorn fans, the Norse were not caught napping, instead there was a change in weather and the ball was thrown around in the air by a stray gust of wind and fell in the mid-field and not in the deep lower corner as intended. The Norse team Blitzed a hole, then got the ball into safe hands and ran deep along the wings, clear of any decent blitz opportunities with the dependable Lorax poised and ready to leap to his aid should the Orcs muster some kind of pressure onto the ball carrier. The fate of the match looked gloomy for Unicorn fans.

It was the Unicorn's last turn and the prospects looked grim, the Norse held the ball a short sprint from the line and it seemed impossible that anyone could make it in time to stop the Norse from scoring the winning touchdown... In a flash of brilliance though, Princess Leia hefted the plucky Jaja and hurled him towards the end zone, Jaja landed well and raced to put his frail body between the Norse ball carrier and his own touchdown line *Gulp*. Inspired by the courage of Jaja, Darth Maul lept to his assistance and managed to also get alongside the Norseman as did The Chancellor, who moved quicker than he'd ever moved before. The Unicorns blitzed Lorax off his feet, but failed to stun or injure him and in trepidation they waited to see whether the Norse would be able to smash through their hasty defense.

The Norse coach had bitten his tongue in surprise at the airborne Gobbo and swore to Thor that he didn't have a second Lightning bolt to spare. Lorax the dependable star of the Norse side, groaned to his feet and leapt clear of the Orcish defense to add his strength to his outnumbered team-mate holding the ball. It all came down to this next action.... With a prayer to Odin and a hope that Loki was looking elsewhere New Fish drove hard against the nimble Jaja and pushed him clear but failed to knock him over, as the dependable Darth Maul leant some of his strength to the plucky goblin. In desperation, New Fish leapt clear - he was so close to the touchdown line and could hear his fans cheering support as they saw their rising star runner within easy reach of victory. Then JERK, fall and splat, New Fish fell to the ground and dropped the ball as the clock wound down to 0:00 and saw a bare goblin arse in his face... Looking down he saw the belt that had previously been holding Jaja's breeches was wrapped tightly around his ankles. The nasty Gobbo had tripped him up and saved the Unicorns from defeat!

With a wry smile and a shake of his head New Fish sank back against the bloody grass and pondered the many ups and downs of Bloodbowl. Goblins he decided, were trickier than they appeared and should not be underestimated.”