“The post-game interview seemed like it would never end. Blood Bowl correspondents from every realm in the old world had been sent to cover the match. They were not disappointed. The game featured three scores, and nine injuries. It was an excellent game by anyone’s standards. But the reporters were not there for the quality of game play. They had come because the coach had reached a milestone not seen by many Blood Bowl coaches. This match was his 1500th sanctioned game.

Kondor sat comfortably in the spot light and fielded questions. The first question had to come from the Angry Newscaster in the second row. As he had no vocal cords he gestured his question in sign language which was translated by a ghoul by his side.

“With 1,500 games played some people will start mentioning your name for induction into the Blood Bowl Hall of Fame. But your team has only inflicted 462 deaths on the pitch while suffering 512 of your own. Even worse, your team has only committed 1,526 fouls while receiving 2,017 in return. How do you defend these dismal numbers?” translated the ghoul.

Kondor responded. “It is indefensible. But look at the scrubs I have coached. Take a look at the team that played today. Yeah, they injured 6 players but they were all snotlings. In the meantime they had two of their own number killed. When you coach elves your casualty and foul ratios will be low. Rather, I encourage you to look at it from another perspective. How much blood have I offered up to the adoring fans. I mean, who does not like to see an elf get crushed?”

The next question came from a high elf in the back. “What do you have to say to the families of the poor elves killed today? How can you justify this senseless slaughter?”

“Are you even a Blood Bowl fan?” He shouted back. “Someone get that pacifist out of here before I vomit.”

A security ogre already had grabbed the protester and broken his arm to the applause of the attending reporters. He was escorted out the side entrance where the beating began in earnest.

“Tell us about your new line of tattoos. They don’t seem to fall within the regulations of the Badging Commission.” Queried a dwarf on the left.

“Oh yeah. These have turned into a money raising enterprise. My colleague has helped me establish and fund a Gnomish Tattoo Artistry Guild. At least one tattoo tent will be open outside of each Archer game. We hope to open franchises at all of the major stadiums. I personally plan to have two more tats added after the match. Idrenfineth earned the Frenzy badge for injuring 5 players. Revwe stole the Oi Dats Me Leg badge with 8 consecutive dodges.”

The questions continued to pour in as the Archers of Avelon fumed. How could this useless bumbler get all of the attention when they are the ones who won the match? Now Kondor was making extra gold off the tattoos they had given him. Somehow Kondor would pay.

Eventually Kondor was able to extract himself. He had an appointment with Coach C98. As he hurried down the corridor he ran into the team apothecary/tattoo artist.

“Corbis, I thought we had a deal. As the apothecary I chose for the Archers, I thought we had a clear understanding of when you are to help an elf. That injury to Noneta was clearly a bad one. What gave you the bright idea to try to help?”

Corbis was quick to explain. “Yeah, that laceration was a bad one. I saw it initially spurt all over the ogre that hit her. I ran in and opened it up a little to make sure the ogre got credit for the kill. I think I ‘accidentally’ nicked an artery.”

“Ok. Well done Corbis. Here is you bonus. I will see you a little later for my new tattoos. I’ve decided there is no use in fighting it. Now I am off to see Coach C. I need to negotiate. He did better than I expected.”

With a quick nod Kondor was again moving down the corridor and thinking of the future. Sure the team was not broke, but they had lost some of their more skilled players. It would be a while until the rookies were skilled enough to deal with another heavy hitting team like these Ogres, the Newscasters, or even the Cranberries. Time for a road trip through the elven kingdoms. The hour had come to see if the Archers could play elfball or if they were simply meant to be punching bags.

Coach C98 was in the Big Boss Chair with his back to the door. When Kondor came in, the snotlings scattered to hide behind ogres and the ogres took a menacing step to confront him.

“Easy fellas. I am here to see the Boss.” Said Kondor with his hands stretched out to show he meant no harm.

C98 spun around in his chair. His appearance was exactly what you would expect from a wealthy crime boss. His fine white robe of seal fur draped his shoulders and the tunic beneath was of the finest Cathy Scarlet fabric. On each finger of his massive hands was a gaudy jewel encrusted ring of untold value. His countenance was also that of a man you did not want to make an enemy of. His body was slender and wiry, and his face was chiseled in stone. His thin mustache stood out as it marked him as a prideful member of the working cast.

“That was an impressive show your boys put on out there today.” Kondor chuckled. “I especially loved the look of shock on that monstrous ogre Pete’s face when an elf knocked his blitzing arse to the ground to start the game.”

Pete growled and moved toward Kondor only to have C98 smile and motion Pete back to the corner.

“Yeah, that was humorous, but Cartman and Callahan did the job. I think you have two fewer elves on your payroll tonight.”

“Indeed.” Kondor responded. “And as agreed you can pick up the extra 2,000 gold per head from your favorite bookie Slick Jimmy. My courier Archie took it over after the match. Just a shame I can’t pay you for Revwe. I thought that ogres would be up to the task. I guess I’ll just have to figure out another way to deal with the problem.”

C98 wasn’t smiling any more. “We took a job and we aim to finish it. That elf better watch her back.”

“Well, I hope you do C.” Chided Kondor, “but I just cannot count on you getting the job done. I will put contingencies into play and see what works out. If you do come through, you know I am good for the gold.”

As Kondor moved back into the corridor he was satisfied that it was just a matter of time before he would have revenge on the entire squad.


”