““Hello Avelon and welcome Archer Fans to Cabalvision. The home team in tonight’s match is the Dark Elf team that you love to hate, the Blackspine Reapers. Their opponents are an up and coming High Elf team the Archers of Avelon whose efficient style of play has caught the attention of bookies and Blood Bowl junkies alike. While the Reapers have made regular appearances in primetime, this will be the premiere outing for the Archers who hope grab the attention of sponsors and fans alike.

My name is Rhys ‘Sidearm’ Gilroris and I am contractually obligated to announce Archer broadcasts for foreseeable future or until I hang myself from the curtain rod behind me. The beastman sent to announce with me was called Dawnpelt but unfortunately he had an accident upon arrival at the booth today. Yet not to worry. The corpse has been sent to the furrier and I am more than willing to work with the replacement co-host supplied by the Archers of Avelon.”

“Thanks Sidearm, and good work on that beast. I am Neesha Aludra, one of the founding members of the Archers of Avelon. The match-up today should be a good one. Anytime you put these two races on the field together, blood should flow. To date, the Blackspine Reapers have killed or maimed five different high elves, while the Archers have only managed to injure one dark elf. It is a situation the Archers hope to rectify.

For the Archers, as the underdog in today’s match, they have enlisted the support of Soaren Hightower the mercenary star thrower. However the players to watch will be the Archer regular thrower Nienna, and their team captain Revwe. Both are essential to the success of the team. For injuries you will look to #7 Idhrenfineth to bring in your side bets on blood and mayhem. She has s mean streak and could cause problems for the more lightly armored of the dark elves.”

Sidearm picks up the mike.

“For the Reapers, almost all of your attention has to go to Nerulia Sinstealer. Her moniker should be Sindealer as her skills simply should be illegal. She is quicker, more agile, and stronger than any elf on the field, and she packs a whollop of a punch. The Archers will have to figure out what to do with her if they are to have any chance in this match.

The Archers will receive the kick-off and have tilted the field to the Southern side. The kick is a lofty one and Soaren positions himself below the ball. With the efficiency ingrained in their nature, the high elves easily clear a path along the sideline and put multiple players in scoring range. Soaren has done exactly what he was hired to do. The pass to the veteran catcher Throthradir is on the money and she easily steps in for the score.

Well, the Archers have shown they can bring the elfball. Let’s see if they can play defense.”

“Hold on Rhys” said Neeaha. “There is an anomaly on the field. The sprinkler system has been turned on and is coating the entire field. I wondered why you would have a sprinkler system in an underground stadium. I am informed that they are installed not to grow turf but because the stadium is used in the offseason for other dark elf ceremonies and it is not usually water flowing through the pipes. In any case, the field is now soaked and filthy. That is going to make ball handling that much more difficult today.”

“Good reporting Neesha.” Replied Sidearm. “The half is coming to an end and as you predicted the ball is out of control but the Reapers have a shot if only the can pick it up. Wait, the ball has come free from the scrum and Kydeth has it. She will not be stopped. She SCORES to put the Archers up by two. I would not have believed that she could come out of that mess with the ball but somehow she did it.”

Now for a word from Cabalvision.

“Welcome back Blood Bowl Fans.” States sidearm. While you were away, the archers kicked the ball to the Reapers who are looking to set up a drive to get back into the game. Here comes a blitz from Neruilia who has been held in check thus far in the match. She goes straight at the Archer captain pushing her back further and further. She would be wise not to stay there for the counter punch. She dodges away but goes down in a heap! I cannot tell what has happened. Neesha, what did you see.”

“Amazing!!! I can’t believe what just happened. Neruilia came hard and fast at Revwe. She was out of control and it was a rookie mistake. Revwe stepped back and at the last moment lifted her regulation sized dagger. There is no way you could avoid it coming in that fast. Before she dodged away, she had an expression of shock, and in a veteran moment, Revwe gave a hard jerk upward on the blade. There is no way any apothecary of cauldron of blood will heal that. She is DONE!.”

“Both teams are looking on in surprise at what just happened. Look out Joelena. Oh NO! That other witch just impaled poor Joelena. I don’t think she will survive that. What you are now witnessing is a full on knife fight on the field. Both sides got a taste for blood and the hatred is boiling. A couple of Archers are badly hurt on the sideline, but the Reapers are reaping the worst of it. The runner Nisrethg just took a blow to the head, and Throthradir just stomped on the hand of the rookie dark elf Saithor. As a side note, it looks like the Archers are going to make it 3-0.”

“Don’t count the points until they are in the end zone Neesha!” Shouts the agitated Sidearm. “Nisrethg has the ball and is lofting a long bomb to the rookie Droris. Iondil will not catch her. Droris has scored to end the bloodbath and mudbath of a match.

It was a fine debut for the Archers but it looks like my contract will not be canceled due to ratings. Until next week, this is Rhys ‘Sidearm’ Gilroris signing off from Blackspine Stadium.”
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