“(Had more or less abandoned writing these, but it turns out my opponent is a fan of feeble comic writing about internet boardgames and wants to me to do more.)

The team convened and carefully worked out their 'try not to get killed more than absolutely necessary' game plan, as is routine when taking on a dwarf team with a TV 300 higher. Reports of the coach buying shares in the local undertakers business did not help morale much.

Things went surprisingly well to begin with as the initial strategy of 'don't let the ball carrier get blitzed' held good for at least two turns, and the dwarves seemed to have some sort of cultural objection to taking advantage of the Bad Lads' paper bag-like resistance to offensive plays by scoring more than once a half.

Then things just went surprising as the whimsical eye of the dice gods settled on the match, enough to make any veteran FUMBBLer quake, given the prospect of losing to one of the most tactically brain dead coaches on the site. Yup, by some bizarre probabilistic anomaly the Bad Lads scored against the run of play.

Needless to say the dice gods started looking elsewhere and it was back to business as usual with the dwarves slapping the orcs all over the pitch. Nevertheless, as my average result is a 2-0 loss, the final score of 2-1 definitely counts as a positive, and only one of the Black Orcs got crippled. So, you know, definitely one of our better games... ”