“The Vampires played excellent defense in the first half, and it was all the Weirdbeards could do to score. The touchdown required two separate handoffs, the second of which the receiver nearly dropped, but he managed to secure the ball and streak across the finish line as fast as his stumpy legs could carry him. In the second half, the Nosferatu failed to protect the ball, and the plucky dwarves were able to sneak into the cage and knock down the ball carrier. One of the Dwarf Runners absconded with the pigskin, and the demoralized Vampires didn't even bother trying to catch up with him. After the match, Dogbeard the Blitzer was given the nickname "Vampire Slayer" by his teammates, after he slew Juha Sipilä with a mighty blow.”