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Match Result · League division
· Tournament game
Match recorded on 2018-03-03 09:53:23
Skaven CTV 1290k+100k
1
60k
8000
+1
0/0/0
Inducements: Star player Fezglitch
Player Performances
td
comp
cas
int
mvp
spp
turns
pass
rush
block
foul
TOTALS
1
-
2
-
1
12
171
-
21
51
1
Player Performances
td
comp
cas
int
mvp
spp
turns
pass
rush
block
foul
TOTALS
1
-
-
-
1
8
166
1
29
29
1
#90 Fezglitch – Dead (RIP)
“Welcome sports fans and Creekmoor.
Imagine the hooks they use in an Australian harbour to hang really big sharks. Now double the size of it. That gives you some idea of the scale of the hook off of which Creekmoor has just been let. But we'll start at the beginning.
Lbetheday's cousin Fezglitch was a lone parent trying hard to earn an honest crust for his 38 children. So he was hired by the Rats who had a space on the roster as they were playing the vastly more experienced but perennially disappointing Steelers. Within seconds of the kick off it became obvious the callous orcs had singled him out, Clag hit him so brutally that - mascara warning - there are now 38 orphan rats.
To add insult to death, in what was the most pedantic act of bureaucracy since the Coniston Lake Authority demanded full payment of Donald Campbell's annual boating pass, the ref sent the dead Fezzer off for alleged use of a banned item.
The first half was a tale of fumbles, three from the usually reliable Rats (it is suspected more orc chicanery was at work but nothing has been proven). The half ended with the Rats a score down but out to avenge Fezzer's death.
If you search the quotes of famous BB coaches for the phrase all we have to do now is sit on this one goal lead and don't do anything stupid you will draw a blank. With that sort of mentally it was no surprise that the lacklustre Steelers spilled the ball which the outstanding (more later) Pack pounced on and scored.
With just two downs left and having to kick the ball to the Steelers, head coach Hepworthnot was heard to say "we're looking to win this". A mocking laugh was Creekmoor's response, his limited footballing brain failing to comprehend any scoring possibilities.
Boomt Own, who kicked superbly all match, put the ball deep in Cesspit territory. The Rats literally swarmed around the hapless Bloggins. Then came the most embarrassing mistake ever - and there have been a lot - by Creekmoor. Bloggins messed up his block, went down and turned over the play. Dwain made the most improbable catch of the loose ball, dodged back from three tackles, scampered round the leaden footed orcs and headed for the line. It would have been an 11 space rush to score. Would have been but for the fact that he tripped over the whitewash which ended the match.
Creekmoor boasted after the match of his remarkable escape "Harry Houdini couldn't have done it better."
Pack was named Rat of the Match and it has been reported his agility is now 4 as a result of his improved skills. No wonder the Rats remain tournament favourites.”
Imagine the hooks they use in an Australian harbour to hang really big sharks. Now double the size of it. That gives you some idea of the scale of the hook off of which Creekmoor has just been let. But we'll start at the beginning.
Lbetheday's cousin Fezglitch was a lone parent trying hard to earn an honest crust for his 38 children. So he was hired by the Rats who had a space on the roster as they were playing the vastly more experienced but perennially disappointing Steelers. Within seconds of the kick off it became obvious the callous orcs had singled him out, Clag hit him so brutally that - mascara warning - there are now 38 orphan rats.
To add insult to death, in what was the most pedantic act of bureaucracy since the Coniston Lake Authority demanded full payment of Donald Campbell's annual boating pass, the ref sent the dead Fezzer off for alleged use of a banned item.
The first half was a tale of fumbles, three from the usually reliable Rats (it is suspected more orc chicanery was at work but nothing has been proven). The half ended with the Rats a score down but out to avenge Fezzer's death.
If you search the quotes of famous BB coaches for the phrase all we have to do now is sit on this one goal lead and don't do anything stupid you will draw a blank. With that sort of mentally it was no surprise that the lacklustre Steelers spilled the ball which the outstanding (more later) Pack pounced on and scored.
With just two downs left and having to kick the ball to the Steelers, head coach Hepworthnot was heard to say "we're looking to win this". A mocking laugh was Creekmoor's response, his limited footballing brain failing to comprehend any scoring possibilities.
Boomt Own, who kicked superbly all match, put the ball deep in Cesspit territory. The Rats literally swarmed around the hapless Bloggins. Then came the most embarrassing mistake ever - and there have been a lot - by Creekmoor. Bloggins messed up his block, went down and turned over the play. Dwain made the most improbable catch of the loose ball, dodged back from three tackles, scampered round the leaden footed orcs and headed for the line. It would have been an 11 space rush to score. Would have been but for the fact that he tripped over the whitewash which ended the match.
Creekmoor boasted after the match of his remarkable escape "Harry Houdini couldn't have done it better."
Pack was named Rat of the Match and it has been reported his agility is now 4 as a result of his improved skills. No wonder the Rats remain tournament favourites.”
Pack might have been named Rat of The Match (was there much choice?) but Player of The Match went to Bloggins, thrower for the Steelers. After picking up the ball in Rats territory (after one of their many fumbles - they do more fumbling than a pair of randy teenagers), and then getting pushed back into his own half, Bloggins moved back in to the Rats half. He then stood strong against a two-rat hit, but didn't bat an eyelid. He dodged downfield to team up with Mogg, but didn't need him in the end, and crossed the line unfettered to put the Steelers on the board. 21 rushing yards, 6 blocks, and his first touchdown, but unlikely to be his last of this campaign going by what we saw today.
Coach Creekmoor, who thought he had finally wished a fond farewell to schoolboy errors, made two in the second half. And they gave the Rats a lifeline that saved them from surely drowning. The first mistake was to not get an instruction out to the pitch to tell Clag the Troll to stand up. This eliminated a number of tackle zones for two turns, to which the Rats said "thank you very much". The second, glaring error was even more crass - calling the wrong call on a hit, leaving the blocker prone and presenting the Rats with an early turnover. Very poor.
The Rats made some good plays during the later stages of the game, including some very good dodging and leaping. But would they have scored without these two gift-wrapped blunders from their opponents? I suspect not.
But score they did. And before we knew where we were, they had the ball again and a touchdown looked inevitable. In a brilliant finish to the game (for neutrals and Steelers fans alike) Dwain tripped over the paint and dropped the ball and the game finished 1-1.
Should the Rats have won? Yes
Did they deserve to win? No
Do they have a chance of lifting the Renaissance Cup? No
Has the balance of power shifted from Hepworthnot to Creekmoor? Yes
Should I be doing something more useful than writing this match report? Yes.
Welcome back Blood Bowl.”