“Playing against KeySmash is like pulling my own teeth, with a pair of rusty pliers, attached to an electric current, while horrible hip-hop is playing in the background, at top volume.

And yet I keep doing it.

So, here the annoying rats got to receive and by the time they had finished their first turn, so before I'd had chance to do anything, Morg 'n' Thorg, and my Sheikh had been badly hurt and a bedouin lineman KO'd. Oh yes, and it was a blizzard as well, so my passing game was out.

Given this poor start, I'm surprised I managed to survive till half time, but survive I did, albeit at 0-2 down. In the second half things got a bit better for me and I even managed something resembling a passable defence - to be fair, I was helped by the ball-carrying rat tripping and injuring himself, allowing me to throw a pathetic pass that wasn't even intercepted... it wasn't caught either, but I did manage to get the ball back a bit later.

I was all set to get a consolation score when the game bugged out and prevented me from making the necessary hand-off.

All in all, a thoroughly miserable game, my only consolation being no one died, and I did manage to SI one of the rat ogres, so whichever of my teams plays them next will only have to face 5 ultimate killing machines instead of 6 - oh joy!”