“Chapter 14

Coach Robsson was in a good mood. The air was fresh and smelt of the sea, the wind was up (which meant there was the chance of some good waves later) and the whole team were rested and repaired after a two-week break. The wights had new armour courtesy of 'Cinders' McDougal, the town's smith, who had presented Robsson with the new pieces as a thank you for all the work he was getting now that North Shore was becoming something of a popular destination for Bloodbowl tourists. The wolves had spent the past few days away, doing whatever it was they did when it was a full moon, and had returned somewhat frisky and eager to get back onto the field. Sanjlfrntyg had replaced a few of his more worn-out parts with some fresh acquisitions (whose provenance Robsson had chosen not to investigate too closely). The zombies had mostly just wandered around pointing at things and groaning. And the ghouls? The ghouls, Robsson was delighted to discover, had been practicing.

But all of this was unimportant. What really mattered was that today would see the unveiling of Da Hui's official new kit. 'Scissors' Wilson - the town's tailor - had done them proud, and now the entire team was decked out in black tunics, black leggings and, where necessary, black leather armour. And on the chest of each player, was an image of a surfer. It was awesome. And today they were going to get their lovely new kit dirty - and possibly bloody - against a team of Amazons called the Themyscira Thunderers.

Robsson wandered over to wish the opposing coach good luck, as was customary. A funny tradition, he thought. Why would you want the other team to have good luck? If there was any luck going, he wanted it all for himself.
"Well," he said, shaking hands with dolphinandrew. "Good luck to you." And then, so quietly he could barely hear it himself he added, "but for your next match, not this one."
dolphinandrew shrugged. "It won't make a difference."
"Oh, how so?"
"I consulted the soothsayers before setting out. They sacrificed a goat but said the signs were not good. So I made them sacrifice another one. But they came back with the same results. Next we tried a stray dog we picked up in the streets, then a cat from someone's garden, then two guinnea pigs from a cage in a little girl's bedroom, but always the results were the same. The gods are not going to favour us today."
"Sorry to hear that," Robsson said with a smug grin. Knowing the gods were favouring you was almost as good as knowing that Rancid Sid, the most successfully useless bookie in the whole of the Empire, was taking bets against you. "Well," he added with a chuckle. "May the best team win."

Well, the gods may have been favouring Da Hui, but no one seemed to have told the Amazon players that. Despite receiving the kick, Da Hui struggled to get passed the wall of shining bronze armour that stood in their way and were forced to abandon Plan A and go for the rather more risky Plan B. This involved Tobias breaking away from one of the Amazon blitzers and throwing a pass to Ivan, who had snuck his way down on the opposite flank from where all the action was taking place. It worked perfectly, and Robsson could see how the hours of practice the ghouls had put in had paid off.

But still the Amazons fought back. One second the field was empty, the next it was full of warrior-women and Ivan was flat on his back and suddenly lacking in ball. How did that happen, Robsson wondered? Weren't the gods supposed to be on their side? But all was not lost. The Thunderers weren't able to get hold of the loose ball and Jeremiah was. Wasting no time, the new ghoul ran it in for the touchdown.

It had taken a while, but there was still time enough for the Amazons to score before the half. But not, it would seem, if the gods weren't in a mood to allow it. The ball appeared almost enchanted, slipping through the hands of the Thunderers whenever they attempted to pass it downfield, and time ran out with them still too far from the endzone.

At the start of the second half, Coach Robsson noticed storm clouds gathering overhead, but strangely, they were only gathering over the far side of the pitch. "Oh," he told himself. "Somebody's defying the gods, and the gods don't like it. This could get interesting."
It did get interesting, but not in the way Robsson had hoped. The Themyscira Thunderers were still having trouble getting to grips with the ball, but they made up for it by bashing Da Hui left, right and centre. Ebeneezer, the Geezer from Giza, was kept busy trying to magically patch up any player who was delivered to him, and fortunately he seemed to be doing a good job of it. But there were just too few players left on the field and the Amazons were quickly able to get the ball into a safe position from which to score.

But they were in no hurry to do so. Obviously dolphinandrew had decided a 1-1 draw was an acceptable outcome if the gods were going to deny them the win, and they continued to pound the undead while keeping the ball safely away from anyone who might be able to steal it away from them. Suddenly, there was a flash from the lowering storm clouds and a tiny bolt of lightning shot down and appeared to strike dolphinandrew right on the backside. "Fine," he shouted. "Have it your way," and he motioned for his blitzer to run in the touchdown.

Robsson almost felt sorry for the Thunderers. Had they been playing any other team he would be shaking his head about now and complaining about the unfairness of having to play, not only against a rival team, but also against a bunch of all-powerful beings who were determined to make you lose. There was no fun in playing such a one-sided game...or watching one for that matter. But then the Thunderers weren't playing any other team, they were playing Da Hui, so too bad. If the gods wanted the Amazons to lose, who was he to stand in their way?

With plenty of time left, and all his injured players recovered, Robsson sent his team downfield in a solid offence that turned out to be about as solid as an elf's version of dwarf bread. The Amazons just wouldn't give up. More undead players were carried off the field, more risks had to be taken, but in the end Tobias was able to push his way over the line for the score just as time ran out.


* * *


"Well," Robsson said as he stood looking out to sea at the gentle waves. "An easy win, eh?"
"Not so easy," Ebeneezer corrected him. "If the gods hadn't been on our side it might well have been a very different game."
"Pah!" Robison waved away the necromancer's caution. "We won fair and square. We didn't need the gods to help us."
Storm clouds began to gather out at sea and the waves grew slightly larger and more aggressive.
"Gods," he continued. "What do they know about anything, least of all Bloodbowl?"
The clouds grew darker. The waves grew larger.
"I tell you this. I bet I could win a game, even with the gods against me."
There was a flash of lightning, a long, loud peel of thunder. The waves were huge now, crashing one after the other against the deserted beach.
"There," Robsson said with a satisfied nod of the head. "That'll do nicely," and he set off with his board towards the angry water.”