“This was a tough game for the Guitars who never really got a good break.

The human team were supported by an ogre who was stronger than most. He started the game early injuring Metallica, who had to be patched up. The Betelguese scored with not too much resistance.

The guitars set up and did manged to push up the pitch but had to make a last ditch dash to try and even the score. Stoneage tripped while dodging and the half was over.

At the start of the second half Stoneage sat back waiting for a break, but it never came. In the end he considered a long bomb pass but judged it too risky and held onto the ball. It may have been the wrong decision as he was taken down and the ball was dropped. Arthur Dent, or as the commentator Matt Berry called him "Denty" gathered the ball and ran out of reach of the rest of the orc team.

With not much else to do Nirvana smashed the Fenchurch, the catchers ankle but it was patched up. Denty scored and the game ended 2-0.

The whole orc team jumped onto Wowbagger hoping for a final second of fun but he was a tough cookie who held up to the beating. ”