“A game that started well and then degenerated into a suck-fest of the highest order...and for once, it wasn't me on the receiving end, it was Malmir.

The first drive developed pretty much according to plan for the rats. The humans received the kick, did some hitting along the front, collected the ball and put it safely into a loose cage while the two catchers ran downfield ready for the pass. Then the rats calmly made a hole in the human defence, ran half their team through the gap and blitzed the ball-carrier, putting the ball safely into the hands of a gutter runner along the way.

I could have blitzed the ball-carrier, but it would have involved a couple of gfis so instead I blitzed his wingman and put him in a tackle zone. Yes, I know this is kind of pointless against AG4 dodgers, but who knows, maybe I would get lucky.

No such luck. The rats scored, just like that.

My second drive looked like being a complete rerun of the first, except this time the thrower was in slightly better cover. This didn't stop the rats breaking the line and getting a blitzer all the way to the thrower, but once there he failed his gfi and injured himself...badly. So badly, the apo was no help.

With hindsight, that was the turning point, and from then on, pretty much nothing Malmir tried succeeded. He was now 4 men down (2 SI, 2 KO) and there was nothing he could do to stop me scoring.

Then the turnovers started, allowing me to score an easy second. Then, on the final turn of the half the kick-off result was a riot - an extra turn for the rats, and I was set up to stop the OTT so Malmir was able to get a gutter runner nice and deep with good cover all around. An easy score...

Except that he then failed a 3+ pass. Worse still, the ball went out of bounds and was chucked back in way downfield, where only I could reach it. I failed to pick it up, giving Malmir one final chance for the score, but this time the gutter runner who failed the throw now failed his dodge. Twice.

And things only got worse for the rats in the second half. Two of their best players were injured, another couple were soon KOd and still the turnovers continued. The fact that it took me seven turns to score is a testament to Malmir's determination in the face of total luck-fail (and a bit of rubbish passing from me) so the last few turns were just marking time really. I scored, and Malmir didn't have the manpower to try for a final turn score - which wouldn't have made a difference to the result anyway and would no doubt have killed a gutter runner in the process. Instead, he went for a quick pass for an easy SPP. It failed.

I hate games like this. Sure, I'm happy to win and to have all my players left at the end, but there's no real sense of achievement or satisfaction. I didn't make any daring plays, no long bombs, no last-minute heroics of any sort. I just stood there and hit rats until they disappeared, and picked up the ball whenever it fell on the floor.

However, a win is a win and I'm not complaining. Well, clearly I am, but I shouldn't. I have more new fans (for the third time in a row) and enough cash to buy two new linemen, so now I even have a reserve! Next on the list are some good skills.

And hopefully next time out, I'll actually earn the win, rather than have it handed to me on a plate.”