“Another loss for the Nightmares. The scoreline doesn't show how bad it could have been; with both teams playing like the ball was smeared with butter, it was sometimes hard to see if anyone would pick the damn thing up.

Putrid cheese candles to be lit for the departed: Rizzo and Rastamouse. Rizzo at least injured one of the Tarantula Hawks before dying, the most Rastamouse could do was add being dead to his longish list of injuries.

Desperaux keeps up his streak of scoring, but coldn't do anything about being surfed into the crowd. Roland Rat, on the other hand, who couldn't do much for most of the game, was inexplicably awarded MVP.

There will be screaming in the locker room tonight. At least next week Stuart Little will be back from the hospital, along with Speedy Gonzalez's replacement, Speedy Gonzalez II.”