“Well, the promising career of the number 13 thrower, Jerry, ended today when he tripped running away from his marker, landed on his head and died. Meanwhile Chuck E Cheeze, consigned to the LOS while we wait for him to die, is still wandering around with his fractured skull, the gormless mouse. This is the team that eats throwers. Shame it's always their own ones.

After the last match was played in a blizzard, obviously a heatwave would be the next thing the Nightmares had to put up with. Lowlights were having three touchdowns go past them, highlights were Stuart Little's standout game. People might call him a wild animal but he's been a disciplined member of the team, making his blocks, killing and injuring two players, and even scoring a touchdown when the ball landed on him and he ran for the end zone, scared of the strange oval thing that was lodged between his ears.

A (mostly) clean game, the Nightmares failing to get round to fouling the Eastwood's star Witch Elf while she was on the ground. Some marks for sportsmanship, something we never expected from these rodents. Or did they just foul up the foul?

MVP inexplicably went to Despereaux, who might have rushed as many yards as Stuart but tripped and fell going for a conciliatory touchdown in the last seconds of the game.”