“After one of those halves that make gobbo coaches want to hurt fluffy defenceless creatures (so many failures to pick up the ball that i couldnt count them- like one of those dreams where you're being chased but your legs don't work), this coach was pretty resigned. 'Hey at least I kept my bomber for some larfs next half' I thought. But at 1-0 down with only 1 weapon, experience said that a loss loomed large.

Oh how I underestimated 2 star performers. Xenophobic, the vanguard of this team of goblin Brexiteers riled up the fans enough to take out 2 of their vampires at the start of the second (he had already murdered one in the first half), this meant that although he was himself stunned by the opposition fans the numbers were even. Secondly Jacob, that arch saboteur lobbed his first serious bomb of the match, a beauty that looped way over everyone's heads, knocking out the ball carrier and stunning his neighbouring thrall. From there given that the vampires could barely make a move without the reassurance of a nice good slurp on a thrall afterwards and thanks to some decent work with their fists and boots, the gobbos made it all the way to the line, the ball carried over it by our Fan Favourite and gob of the match, XENOPHOBIC THE BREXIT 'OOLIGAN!
”