“In response to the statement of the so called "Herpetophilia Society" we would like to contest the claims made therein. In contradiction to the aforementioned statement, "Team Donald" presses charges against its opponent "Herpetophobia C" for the illegal use of secret weapons and for defamation. "Stephen Bannon" did in no way dodge away from "Rodani" (a barely experienced and completely unknown player).

It has on the contrary been observed by several bystanding players of Team Donald, that the treacherous Saurus had secretly attached razorsharp metal blades to his misshapen feet, which clearly violated the rules of the game. Unfortunately, the incapable referee didn't spot the illegal use of those blades as Rodani made it look like a mishap on a supposedly cowardish dodge. We strongly stress these alternative facts, that none of our players would *ever* dodge from anyone and any contradicting allegation is an outrageous imputation. Also, "icy conditions" had nothing to do with the occurances. Those who claim otherwise are crooks, who want to hide filthy secrets - nothing more and nothing less. We demand Rodani to be locked up and Herpetophobia to pay for those prison walls.

We now mourn for one of the great dwarfs, who was just about to reach Super Star status in the sport and was the greatest player on our team.

As a side-note to fans we would like to announce, that the incapable apothecary "Dr. Bandaghe" who did not patch up Stephen Bannon properly is also charged with collaboration with the opposing team for material gains. We also gladly hereby announce that a replacement has been found, already. And on a personal note to Dr. Bandaghe: You're fired.”