“Not a very good showing for the Scoundrels today. Ladyshape did show her mean streak, putting the boot in to a prone player, but the team was stunned by the death of fan favourite and lovely lady, Bogan Picnic. The apothecary said he couldn't save her, although that seems suspicious, and it's more likely that Legneck was putting off fixing the little darling until after the match, as she's been seen around the changing room afterwards.

Highlights - Ladyshape managing to chuck a goblin almost into scoring range. Sadly, that was when it didn't have the ball, but you can't have everything. Somehow she got the MVP award this week and has decided to learn how to stand firm, which is ironic given she just stands around looking gormless in most matches anyway.

Pinkeye is getting back up to speed, with 6 fouls this week after a slow start to the season.

Bouncy Bouncy got his first casualty. None of the special weapons - sorry, techniques players were too badly damaged today. And Mrs Legneck managed her first leap - she's certainly getting the hang of her magic spring.

Otherwise, a rout. Can be fairly proud that we held them to just 2 touchdowns in the second half, particularly when we were down to 4 players. The Scoundrels will return!

... probably not next week though”