“The Critters took to the field for their first game of the season against the Mutes, a rookie Chaos Dwarf team licking their lips at the thought of squishy goblins to destroy.

As it happened the Critters were more awake and managed to blitz the slow moving dwarfs at the kickoff with Doomclaw puncturing his arch rival Doomguy's helmet and causing a severe head-wound that meant the poor dwarf had to sit the rest of the game out.

The Critters managed to swarm behind the Dwarfs offensive line and put pressure on the ball recovering it. Skitterpaw managed to grab the ball and decided to stall on the edge of the Endzone but a brilliant play by the Bull and some hobgoblins managed to base him.

A simple dodge out to score and it failed and the Dwarfs managed to recover and began battering players and knocking them all out, except for the Troll who punched Bumblebee square in the crotch and forced him out. Despite this Mutes fightback it was too late, the blitz and stall had eaten too much time and Half Time came 0-0.

Fisk, the Critter Coach, panicked as most of his team lay knocked-out but a quick gulp of Madcap Fungus Beer and a brisk kick up the rat hole soon woke everyone up and they set up for their drive.

The dwarfs formed a bunch in the centre of the field as the ball fell straight into Skitterpaw's paws who took off down the far side of the field as his Skaven blitzers pushed the Dwarfs back with Doomclaw taking out the hobgoblin Coyote on the way. The rest of the team screened and pushed their way to the endzone for the score. 1-0 to the Critters.

The Mutes pushed off and secured the ball before the Critters swarmed again marking the ball but a beautiful play by the hobgoblin carrier meant he got away and was almost free until Doomclaw came charging back and snuffed it out. A scrum emerged as the ball bounced around

The Bull Centaur could have won it for the Mutes after a good blitz and pick up but he tangled his feet up on his way to the endzone and fell over.

Full time 1-0 Critter victory.

Critter coach Fisk:

"Critter win-win, I tell-order my boys to do that. Doomclaw smash-maim I said and he did-did. I'm genius-smart and we are super-good team. Dwarf-things weak-weak, me never worried-scared."
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Thank you to my opponent Haru who was a superb company throughout this game. It was really fun and he suffered some poor luck in parts, especially the two dwarf cas's and the double skull to tie it up.

Good luck with the team. Hope to play again!”