“A proper violent start to the season for the Scoundrels, although with some very rusty players. Pinkeye doesn't seem to have his heart in it, only fouling twice this match, but Manshape was in his usual top form, smashing here and smashing there. Babyshape got the deserved MVP for the match, and the rest of the team, well, what was wrong with them? Most of them off the pitch by the end of the first drive, it suggests the most recent recruitment didn't get the kind of brave maniacs the team needs to progress. Where's Wonton Violence when you need him?

(Dead, that's where.)

The LavaBulls were a powerhouse, not distracted by the goblins jeering that those inbred beardies couldn't pick up the ball to save their lives. The little green men swear revenge. Or swear a lot, anyway.”