“Elves aren't known for brutality so when the first thing that happened was the Cirque KO'd one of my players, I was taken aback.

Clearly the Charming Lovelies are much too sensitive, because after being shown up by a early TD when they thought their rugby-scrum defence was watertight, they retaliated by KOing more than half of the Cirque and badly hurting the rest. Having been handed a big bag of cash by somebody they were fouling in a most unelflike manner, at least until they'd taken a player off.

The snow fell all game, with players falling down and hurting themselves, getting shoved into the crowd and refusing to come back, and when the final drive began, the remaining six Cirque were probably too frost-bitten to have much hope.

Charming Lovelies, meanwhile, spent half the time complaining that the beer was too weak, because like all elves, they're whiny pointy-eared scum. Tune in next match as they all get zombified...”