“A fond farewell to Alexander Clearwing, stalwart long term team member and - oh, no, another dead journeyslave rat. It's almost like the Monkees don't care about the little guys.

Pitch invasion damned us in the first half, and every rat ogre that could think of an excuse failed to come to the party. On the positive side, weak fouling by the Heresy only lead to Clearfist getting sent off, and we didn't have anyone we cared about injured. Would have been nice to force an earlier score, but nothing doing.

The rain stopped long enough to make our tears visible, and instead sweltering heat, which affected those vaseline-soaked perverts more than us. The beer was no good in encouraging players out again, and while tentacles and prehensile tails held up the Heresy for a while, we couldn't hold onto them enough to keep ourselves safe.

Final turn, Snuggles almost scored for a draw, but we didn't want to risk him tripping up, so we sent in Cuddles for a hit instead, and then Snuggles was the only Rat Ogre not to pass a 4+ wild animal check. So clearly I had the right dice, just in the wrong order. Can't complain about 8 casualties though, the big lads were hitting like they were meant to. A gift basket of cheese which is definitely not laced with poison has been put in the mail to the Collosal Banjo”