“First half started dreadfully for the Invertebrutes, as Zhogdhug and Flygor, both recent recruits, were smashed off the field.

The cheeky short men with beards began to stall, thinking there was nothing the unlovely and unwashed could do about it, so we started smashing them off the pitch. By the third badly hurt, the apo was called.

This was clearly a mistake as the crowd, enraged by the implication that the Invertebrutes couldn't do anything better than vaguely bruising the remaining team, started flinging rocks, ruining Fidel Castro's game at the start of the second half. Willie Nelson was next, and then Boomer showed a nasty side by killing Ulysses Grant, adding the second ever dwarf to our roster.

With the dwarfs down in numbers, a few bits of luck when there were no rerolls left meant Cicada could romp home with the ... draw.

A draw is better than a loss though. Thanks for the match - kept me working all the way to the end, after a first half where I was close to giving up in despair at the army of Stand Firm Guard... :)”