“The tree was out on the first turn. Dwayne got KO'd. Jason got KO'd. Ottawa was untouchable (ok Dwayne hurt Fabio, but he regenerated and promptly stood up like a turn later after a touchdown). Score and Perfect Defense on turn 8. Surfed catchers, smashed elves. Perfect cages, and elves running for the hills.

About as perfect a game as Ottawa could have hoped for.

Oh, but a Blitz! on Turn 1 meant Fayetteville was up 1-0 before the match started. And the Perfect Defense didn't slow Jason down at all. And all the KO's kept waking up. Turn 7 of the second half, the elves hurled the ball deep deep deep into Ottawa's end zone; and while we GFI'd twice to pick it up successfully, and we managed a short pass, and Starr was in handoff range and in scoring distance, there was an elf covering Starr.. and he couldn't catch it to tie the match up for Overtime.

"Baaaaaaby" Brandi coos out to Starr, rushing after him as soon as the match was over, "Baaaaaby it's ok, you got to smash elves! I'll make it all better.. next season you'll get to splatter more!"

Starr, hurling obscenities and filth in every direction, could not be found for comment after the match.

Thanks for the match Garcangel!”