“Never pitch cleared dwarfs before, so I'll revel in that for a moment...

bigpoppaben's dwarfs and chorfs are both teams that I struggle to play against, so I figured this time my strategy was going to be hit them as hard as I could, stall for a eighth turn TD, and get the roller on for one turn before it got banned.

Instead, the roller came out at the start, and with a blitz too, which wasn't at all what I wanted. Luckily, the dwarfs overcommitted to the south, and so Beef Roast could run the ball in for a quick score, antecedent to the roller being sent off.

Except the ref was fine with it staying on, so then I had to ready myself for 6 turns of battering, and then another 8 after half time. Forced as quick a TD as I could on the Train (an MA8 beastman is a great sweeper to discourage stalling), and then I was rid of the roller ...

No, I wasn't. The ref, clearly some short legged bearded ally of the dwarfs, let it return to the fray. Beef, Mushroom does one weak foul and gets sent off - there's no justice. Still, that gave us a bit more time to apply the hammer of the Vegans to the nails presented to us, and with Ryan fouling to get himself to the safety of the sin bin, by halftime we were at 2-1 and 7 dwarfs capable of walking. The dice were with us; Meatballs managed two GFIs and a pick up in a tackle zone in order to elfball a pass to end the first half, cheeky beast that he is.

Finally, with the roller banned, the second half meant we could rely on a lot of Guard and a bit of luck - punted the ball deep, took four turns to retrieve it, in which time we'd taken every opponent off the pitch. One came back to contest the next drive, and so we ran in a fourth TD. With three dwarfs making up the line of scrimmage, it looked like we couldn't get a fifth, but a little bit of surfing got us down to zero upright dwarfs and the highest score the Vegans have ever had. Plenty of roaring and drinking in the clubhouse tonight!

Thanks for the match!”