“It was a beautiful day for Blood Bowl. The molds were in bloom, the fans were ripe, and Gobbo's discount beverages had a "buy one, get a case free" special on The Beast beer. Thirty-one thousand fans filled the Sun Bowl Stadium for the first (and last) "Moonshiners War", a recently declared rivalry between UTEP and App State. It was announced that even the Mighty Zug was getting into the spirit for today's game.

And with the kick-off, while singing "Oops, I did it again", Brittany Spears immediately smacked the former elf lineman, Tripp Bender, right in his fool mouth sending him off to fix those perfect teeth that just make people want to punch him again and again. Peggy Hill was apparently baffled by Reiko's appearance, spent the kick-off asking Brittany if they were playing against the "mean lizards" again. In reply Levi Carlson charged the Zug with an assist from Leo Erickson, knocking the star on his derrier with shreaded armor and multiple penetrating wounds on the left side of his abdomin, just like in practice. His people pulled him from the game to treat the star's injuries. App State wasted no time, advancing down the field quickly, leaving Dan "da Man" Cohen the only defender downfield. The UTEP players barely seemed to notice as they proceeded to do what they do best... hurt the opposition. Jimmt Harris was sent to the dugout with two broken ribs as Luke "Ice Man" North strolled casually over him. Aaron Hothawk, another elf linman, not liking what Brittany had done to his teammake smashed her collarbone, nearly ending her life... but likely ending her career in any event. Leo "Lionhart" Erickson knocked Peggy Hill silly, completing the destruction of the right side of the offensive line. Dan Cohen blitzed Jed Clampit, knocking the ball free and trying to get it into the stands. While not able to keep them from scoring, App State was forced to run the ball in much earlier than the pundits had predicted they would.

As UTEP started its drive, Levi Carlson drove again into Miranda Lambert, the App State Veteran which had been terrorizing the UTEP defenders. Miranda, however, also found her armor shreaded and left the field on a stretcher with multiple broken ribs, a broken sternum, and slice in the forehead over both eyes. He'll have quite the scars and stories when released from the hospital. Skeeter Brown took offense at Aaron Hothawk's part in Miranda's injuries and struck back, shattered both Aaron's shins, dislocating his shoulder, and causing the disgusting eruption of an ear boil. The UTEP offense pulled in tighter and tighter as they advanced very slowly down the field. Finally, Wyatt Simmons caught Peggy Hill in the head a second time, sending her off. A pestigor line was formed down the field near the sideline as Godfried Ozmund, yet another former elf, took a position on the other side of the field. Fortunately App State took the bait, dedicating their efforts to stop the array of pestigors, ignoring the elf. So before the ref could blow his whistle signaling the end of the half, Andrew "Twinkle Toes" Hosford calmly danced the ball down the field to a waiting Godfried who dashed to the endzone for the tying score.

Second half, UTEP receiving with full strength on the field and App State down six... and none of the missing players were linemen. A high kick delivered straight to Dan Cohen started the half, as UTEP made the slow march down the field. Godfried, having previously scored the touchdown, was knocked out early by the super-star, Skeeter Brown. The humans developed a new set of plays which can best be described as "Throw some meat at'em and get out of the way!" allowing Dan easy access down the field.

The fans were furious at the lack of action.

So, as the teams formed up for what should have been a quick end to the game, the fans lost their collective $&!#. When the ruckus finally settled down, the refs had screwed up the clock... allowing App State just enough time to run in a final touchdown past an incompetant UTEP defense.

Afterwards, with the game ending in a draw... everyone drank entirely too much moonshine and in the morning there were passed out drunks found all over the pitch.

Fin.”