“The fans fill the stadium in lovely West Texas February weather. UTEP, still actively drunk, elected to kickoff to U Pike. The elves didn't notice the faint cloud of alcoholic fumes exuding from the UTEP players when they caught the ball, but sure noticed it a moment later when Far Side discovered three balls incoming and elected to catch the wrong one. Andrew Hosford pulled in the proper ball, and settled into a safe little cage. Or so he thought. Midnight Dancer leapt deep into the UTEP formation, and was unable to dislodge the little pestigor. Wheeling away from Dan Cohen, he agile elf went down and took himself out of the game. (Foreshadowing: This represented the only elf injury all game. UTEP, despite their best effort, were unable to hurt a single elf.) For the rest of the half, the players broken into three distinct clumps of players... where UTEP attempted to not let the elves hurt them too badly... while Levi attempted to remove any elf from the pitch. Nightshadow, meanwhile, stabbed Aaron Hothawk literally in the eye. The poor lad lacks health insurance so will probably never be able to see thru that eye again. Last we heard he was still seeking legal representation to sue the elves and the referee union for allowing knives on the pitch without penalty. (Yes, we know he has a teammate with seven centimeter claws. He's a Peace Studies student. They have some weird ideas.)

At the half, it was 1-0 for UTEP with UTEP's Aaron Hothawk on this way to the hospital, and U Pike's Midnight Dancer cradling his lucky rabbit's foot in the locker-room with a sprained ankle.

The second half was putrid alcohol soaked flesh slowly grinding down the field, as elves kept up their excessive stabbing, stabbing and wrestling and just making everyone's hangover worse. In the end, Booger decides it'd be fun to dance with Soul Kiss, who instead wrestles the big guy to the ground. (We don't think he got a kiss out of it... and he just reported having a worse headache after the game.) This allowed the mean little Soul Kiss to then slam Andrew to the ground and cover the ball. Nightshadow attempted to make the ball go away... but Levi tripped him as he disengaged. Levi instead tackled Soul Kiss, leaving Andrew free to gather up the ball and hand it off to the rookie Belarusian, Yakub "da Maul" Kupava. Yakub, who had never touched a Blood Bowl ball before, seemed confused at first but was quickly encourage by Andrew to march into the end zone before the refs took notice.

Well played U Pike. The result seems to have come down to UTEP's prodigious alcohol consumption and it's resulting alcohol haze which surrounds them. The coach is still berating the players for their tendency to tickle their opponents rather than attempt more damaging tactics.”