“Some sort of trial against a junior local team, bunch of kids really, but the boys obviously wanted to take it easy on such delicate souls, and Alan set the standard by being carted off early, and then most of the lads followed them, Olo Brown being kicked in the head repeatedly by some foul sort, it's not done him any good at all.

Anyway, they scored and then we scored, and then, with threat of terrorism looming we scored again. Steve McDowell was attended to by the team doctor, said their ringer almost killed him! Then Craig had his knee broken by some rotten junior, and he's said that's enough of that. The team's a wreck! There's a test match due yet.

Anyway, with no team on half the game, and struggling to replace for next, they had some fast lad on the team got away for the equaliser. Shows promise, when he grows up might have him on the team. What a mess. Ugly, ugly, not at all suitable for a trial!”