“Well Glam fans, the Thin Dark Prince was not happy this evening. It seemed the Glam had the Favour of the Prince of Pain early in the match, but some excellent play from Captain Crook, and sloppy coaching from coach Grande seems to have put him off... or maybe it was Glamina Crayon's attempt to seduce a zombie ogre?

At the 7.5 minute mark Joseph Tanks, the zombie ogre, tried to take down Messiah Nefrat (the Glam's lyricist best known for writing in esoteric refences to Aeldari Prophecy and not much else) with two assists. The crowd, and the entire Pirates team, were blinded by the light when Joseph knocked himself down on the sparkling elbow Messiah was hiding themselves with in anticipation of getting smooshed.

Coach Grande sensed an opportunity and called the Glam around the Pirate's defensive line to put pressure on the ball carrier. But, fortunately for Pirates fans, he left a gap which the ball carrier was able to exploit. At the same time Glamina, ostensibly one of the defensive tackles in the team, tried to hypnotise, Able Tasman, not realising that zombie ogre's are immune to sexy times. Able promptly smashed her into the KO box.

The Little Mermaid, The Pirate's ball carrier, had gotten back to the defensive line, but hadn't been able to get into a cage. Raegen Janlove saw she was a fish out of water and seriously injured the mermaid to get the ball loose. This wasn't enough to stop captain crook though. For the whole second quarter although he was marked by three or four Glamers, the blogding bloodsucking buccaneer was unstoppable. Finally in the dying minutes of the half he scored a touchdown.

In the second half coach Grande played a boring defensive game aiming for a draw. For a time it seemed it would work. Coach Grande Secured an empty wing, despite loosing two players after directing two questionably aggressive plays. But in the end Starman Silver managed to lose another game for the Glam.

Silver seems to have taken the song 'Holy Diver' a little too much to heart and took a tumble dodging into empty space and dropping the ball. And then immediately after failed to pick the ball up while open. Is this Silver's fault? Or did coach Grande waste the Lord of Excess' boons on directing unnecessary dodges? Or maybe the Prince of Pain spotted Glamina hypnotise herself by staring at her bejazzled visage in Captain Crook's armour? Bad coaching, Starman 'The Shitgoat' Silver, or Glamina 'Nosestorer of' Crayons it's all the same. A rocky horror picture show for the Glam.

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