“Well sports fans, although Skabs won Thursday night's game it cost them two blitzers. If you thought that was bad wait 'til you see the other guys. With three serious injuries and a death it is unclear whether or not The Philosophers will be able to finish the season.

It was always going to be a hard game for the Philosophers. The more experienced Skabs can take hits and dish them out. To even out the imbalance the OSBBL provided the Philosophers with the cash to hire Rumbelow sheepskin for a guest appearance. In the pre-game conference Rumbelow served some smack talk and said he was going to pay a visit to Palmela Handerson. Unfortunately for him he had a date with The Coffin instead and was badly hurt in the starting minutes of the match.

The Philosophers weren't able to recover from the early loss of their star player and their mounting casualties seemed to weigh on their minds. Voltaire especially seemed to be preoccupied with what his criticism of the church might mean for his immortal soul should he be a casualty on the astrogranite. On three separate occasions he tripped while holding the ball. Of particular note, even with coach Kransky's brilliant coaching, Voltaire tripped within meters of the endzone in the final seconds of the match to fumble a touchdown that would have secured a draw for the Philosophers. Strangely enough the crowd awarded him MVP for the match... I guess he did provide comedy relief...

When asked what the Chappedman's strategy for the match was, Skab star blitzer Coffin grabbed her rotting gyrating crotch and gurgled '...BraaaaiIIInnnns'. I'm not sure what this means so I might try speaking directly to the necromancer next time...
”